whose appearances in our suite

Once the realm of marauding pirates and all manner of nautical n'er-do-wells, today the waters of the Malacca Strait are as flat as a mill pond and completely benign, which befits our first full day on board Silversea's the Silver Shadow, a six-star cruise ship where the luxury of not having to lift a finger becomes an art form.

Since boarding the ship the previous afternoon in Singapore, my Gentleman Companion and I have acquainted ourselves with what's on offer: Several restaurants, a round-the-clock room service menu, pool, gym, lounges, notable art and the library.

As (nearly) all food and drinks are  included in the price - the fine dining restaurant Le Champagne carries a relatively token charge - there's also that ''no worries'' sense that comes with all-inclusive holidays.

But best of all is our young, handsome, attentive, charming, funny (enough already?) butler, Jerry, whose appearances in our suite several times a day become one of the highlights of our trip.

The 640 nautical miles from Singapore to Phuket also offers enough time to sample three restaurants in one day, acquaint Jerry with our drinks of choice with which to stock our fridge, and realise that to make the most of our voyage we must simply kick back and relax.

Due to events of the previous year, this is harder than it sounds but over seven days we give it our best shot. Resistance, really, would be futile.

There is also time on this day at sea to consider the notion of a holiday on a cruise ship. Some may dismiss it as sedentary, soft, just too easy. Right now, I can't think of anything better. Happily, I'm not proved wrong.

The island of Phuket is about the same size as Singapore and, in its geography, like a greener, lusher, considerably hotter Bay of Islands - at 8 am the temperature has crept past 30 degrees, the sun is burning brightly and the humidity is all-consuming.

As with each of the ports we stop at over the coming week there are a number of excursions to choose from - best to let your budget, energy levels and interests guide your choice.

Our half-day Panoramic Phuket tour first takes us through the town of Phuket, home at various times to Arabs, Portuguese, Chinese, English and French, and now a mish-mash of shops, markets, reminders of the island's past as a major source of tin, and quite beautiful Sino-Portuguese mansions in all manner of disrepair.

It's been just over 40 years since European backpackers began discovering the beaches of Phuket. Today, the island's east coast is full of hotels by the score, from cheap to high-end, hair-raising traffic,Home energy monitor  trashy bars and shops full of knock-off gear in the nearby towns. With this comes, somewhat inevitably, a sense of paradise lost.

At Chalong Temple, the island's largest Buddhist temple, the cyan blue sky perfectly sets off the literally dazzling gold and red temple buildings, pagodas and shrines.

 Buses come and go, tourists queue to worship at, and/or photograph, the various gold Buddhas, and every couple of minutes the happy calm is shattered as strings of fireworks are set off in the brick ''beehives'' dotted around the temple grounds. Instantly the serene becomes the surreal.

Back at the dock a temporary market place awaits. We later compare prices on the knock-off golf shirts we buy - I thought I'd done well with three for US$20 but the Gentleman Companion, initially impressed by my haggling, quickly trumps that with one for $6. (Note: A few months down the track his ''gold'' Daytona ''Rolex'' still keeps perfect time but that became largely redundant when the strap fell apart.)

A morning of sightseeing, shopping and haggling can be thirsty work. Jerry has this covered. Awaiting us in the suite is a hand-written note saying ''Welcome back!'', an ice bucket filled with wine and beer and a plate of sliced fresh fruit.

The suite is our air-conditioned haven for the rest of the day, between short stints on the veranda to catch some sun. The ship's library offers great magazines for me, gripping thrillers for him, and each day a selection of decent movies rotate on TV.
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